Our train was departing at two in the afternoon, so we checked out of the hotel at a leisurely pace around 12 and walked to the station - it’s not far away.
It may seem that traveling is always very fun and wonderful. But in fact, that’s not quite true. At least half the time I feel some kind of anxiety or fear. Worries about missing something, not making it on time, someone cheating us, etc. I am fully aware that these worries are completely unnecessary. I understand that in any case it’s impossible to control everything, that there are things beyond my control. But it is still very hard to control fear.
More and more often I try to let go of the situation, not get nervous, not invent problems in advance, and act according to the circumstances. I’m already getting better at this, although it is very difficult for me. But still, it’s worth admitting that I’m nervous and worried much less now. Perhaps Asia taught me this - there is much more unpredictability here. And like it or not, you have to somehow make peace with it, otherwise you’ll go crazy.
Very often there is a longing for home and for the people you love… You begin to value more what you have there, in Kyiv - because now you look at all of it from the outside, far away from everything that turned out to be so dear…
But sometimes there are such moments. They come somehow completely unexpectedly, out of the blue - for example, when you step out of the hotel onto the street in Mandalay. The air is so hot, dusty. Very bright. But then all of a sudden you understand with your whole being - how amazing it is that I am here. In this faraway country, among these strangers but smiling people, among the palm trees along the road, among these cafés with low plastic chairs, among these smells of food and cheap gasoline. All your previous journeys, like an express train, rush through your head and you suddenly understand very clearly - your whole life is woven from moments like these. As if travels, layering one upon another, create one continuous fabric - my life, my personal map of the world, where the world is me. And if you take away these wanderings of mine around the world (which probably seem pointless and unnecessary to someone) - probably nothing will remain of me. Just a shell, a bagel with emptiness inside.
But of course, then the vision quickly fades. You walk in the heat. You carry a backpack, even if not that heavy, wait for the train at the station, travel somewhere into the unknown, fatigue sets in - and again the question arises in your head - why?
We got to the station, bought tickets and sat down to wait for the train - it was leaving in two hours. The station building in Mandalay is a little unsettling. We went up to the second floor where there are cafés in the form of tables and some food, and there is even a gaming computer center. Young Myanmar guys were playing computer games on TVs - it felt like I had jumped into a time machine and gone back at least 20 years….
